Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Suspended for a moment in mid-air, a perfect metaphor for how I feel for her right now, and where she is in her young life - suspended between the distant memory of being a toddler and the little girl that she's rapidly becoming. She's a blur of constant motion and I wish sometimes that I could just slow her mad rush to become, and hold her still and hug her for a little bit, while she's still a kid that has no filters and no idea that there's anything else in the world to do but have fun in the here and now. This time feels so fleeting, like that moment of equipoise between rising and falling.

Every day, Dear Alex changes and grows and gets smarter and wiser and funnier, and it is a joy to travel with her as she makes real the promise and joy built into the process of growing up.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

5 Years ago today...

Beautiful Wife became Beautiful Wife. I wouldn't change a thing. We've seen a lot of changes in our brief five years together, and I'm sure there's a lot more to come - I can't wait to see what happens next.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

A blog is...

I was in a meeting today, about a large and complicated website that I've been working on, and the subject of blogs came up, as it was desired to incorporate one in this website. There was a lot of conversation around what constituted a blog, and it was generally agreed that it had something to do with a heartfelt interest and knowledge of the subject in question. Some other more telling stipulations were added, including one that made me want to run home and write - A Blog (to be considered a blog) is "published to or updated more than twice a week." That makes me something of a lapsed blogger, and made me stop and think about the whats and whys of lilscreamie, and it occurred to me that I've failed, am failing to keep up with tracking the growth and changes that this whole mess is supposed to celebrate - the wondrous growth and development of my very own child. It's not so much documentation, but a less-than-rigorous celebration of the stuff I'm likely to forget by next week, next month, next year - in short, the telling details that generally go unnoticed or unmentioned, and the profound mixture of responsibility and absurdity that is being daddy. Dear Alex has changed and grown so much through the long months of my silence, and now I'm feeling a mad rush to try to recapture the incredible texture and detail of all that she's becoming - I'm afraid that that effort is doomed to failure, but I can certainly try for my very own benefit to write again to something that was a labor of love and joy, set aside only for the realities of making and keeping a life for me and mine, and my own inertia.

I will have to start writing again, as I've got the terrible assignment to write about Dear Alex for her kindergarten applications - Including the dreaded "Describe your child's personality and interests... including his or her strengths and weaknesses..." As if she had any weaknesses.

The whole NY kindergarten placement thing has been a real surprise to me. I first heard about it when Beautiful Wife and I were shopping around for preschools, and got asked the question about "where we wanted her to go to kindergarten, because certain preschools can get you on the track..." I'd just assumed you picked a school, paid some money, and the kid went there. Buyer's market, so to speak.

I was sadly mistaken, and have been working diligently to recover from that one ever since, going on school tours and fitting in with other parents trying to stand out but not stand out too much to give their kid the best chances at the best schools. I suddenly get it, and am awed by the depth and importance made of Where The Kid Goes To Kindergarten. It's a track, or a trap, but it can materially affect who Dear Alex is and what she might do 10, 15, 20 years from now. Amazing - the right school, well chosen can make a difference. We'll see how it goes.