Sunday, January 21, 2007

Day Three: Hearts and minds

















A short post tonight, as Dear Alex and I had a long day - but a very good one - a big family visit with uncles and aunts and cousins and grandparents-in-law and all, but very centering, very much what being a parent is becoming about to me: it's all about family, it's all about the kids - we make them our excuse to get together and hang out as people, no matter our differences in anything else - you go and do because it's family, and it's good. I got that from the day, and something else from the trip home, a true sense of what it actually means to be dad:
Night driving the northern end of the New Jersey turnpike, thinking about the day and the unexpected delight in family that I took away, well past Dear Alex's bedtime, but she's wide awake (probably from the cupcake w/sugary frosting that she ate in it's entirety) and we're doing something that we do in the car - a call and response, where she makes a noise, and I imitate it, then I make a noise and she does her best to imitate it - like this:
Dad: "Technology, Broccoli, Democracy"
Alex: "toggolioccolidoci"
Dad: "Technology, Broccoli, Democracy"
Alex: "toggolioccolidoci"
Dad: "Cantelope, Broccoli, Technology"
Alex: "capillogitology"
At a certain point she lost interest in the game, and gave out with a call that is really what this post is all about - "OooooooooMiie? OooooooooMiie? OooooooooMiie?"
I melted - the call was so mournful and genuine (where the hell is mom?) that it really opened my heart - despite whatever the the explanation is - "mom is in California, and she'll be back soon and she loves you and misses you." Daddy alone cannot fill the need. She got me tonight.

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