Dear Alex relaxing in her crib
insanely engaging, and blissfully unaware of the menace within...

Crib Weevils
Like any laid-off dad, I'm constantly looking for some way to augment the household income. Short of selling dear Alex out to Gerber (Yes, she'd be perfect - white chick, ruddy round cheeks, level, but engaging and slightly amused gaze) - and taking a page from the baby-industrial complex, I think there's definitely something in inventing something else for parents to worry about, and / or spend money on to protect their child from. I'm all for it. Believe me, I've seen the horrors of "flat-head-syndrome', and heard a lot about the terrors of 'Bottle-mouth' but who, I ask you, is doing anything about the scourge of Crib Weevils? Think of it - 1 disposable Weevil-proof Tyvek(TM) suit a night every night for at least three years or so at say a buck fifty each - multiply by however many responsible parents I can convince of the Crib Weevil Menace... We're talking major college fund material. "Parents! Protect you child from the Crib Weevil Menace!"
You have been warned.