Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Save the babies
I assure you, it's not a pro-life rant. Dear Alex is at that stage where everything must first be tested, preferably by banging her head against it, just prior to attempting to gnaw, chew or mouth said object, so we are doing the obvious - child-proofing. Went to the big-box baby-industrial complex store to buy foam padding, and purchased a product to wrap the massive sharp-edged glass-topped coffee table. Prominently on the packaging was this admonition - "protect your child from sharp edges!" Uh, well, okay. Gee, if you say so, I better do that. But it's a slippery slope - once I start protecting my child from sharp edges, I should also probably protect my child from falling from high places, open flames, radioactive materials and rabid animals. This disturbs me for so many reasons - Do I really need to be told to protect my child? Who thinks of these things to market their products? More on this later, but remember, parents:
Protect your child from virulent pathogens!
Protect your child from gruesome industrial accidents!
Protect your child from high-voltage electricity!
Protect your child from terrorists!
Protect your child from malevolent clowns!
Protect your child from global warming!
Protect your child from post-apocalyptic zombies!
You have been warned.

No comments: